 |
| Just look at those faces, their minds are blown |
3D movies just don't make sense. The concept behind them is supposedly that when we watch movies, a dimension has somehow been removed in the transition from real life to the screen. We aren't seeing the image as it was meant to be seen. And by wearing a pair of Bono's extra sunglasses we can somehow restore this missing dimension to its original and intended glory. This, however, poses a few blaring questions.
Most importantly, who the hell is seeing shit in three dimensions?
 |
| Your Nana was into some weird stuff |
The human eye does basically the same thing a camera does, it receives incoming light and interprets it as images and colors. And much like in movies, what we see as depth is created by differences in size and focus. The truth is we see in two dimensions. Seeing in three dimensions, on the other hand, implies that you could see every angle of something. And no matter how many times you are told otherwise by your grandparents, who claim they did shrooms with Picasso in the 60's, that is just not possible.
All 3D does is exaggerate the existing depth in movies, thereby corrupting the original image. And on top of that, the glasses are uncomfortable, restrictive, and provide you with a darker, low quality image. Yet almost every big movie these days is released in 3D and they continue to make millions. Therefore, in keeping with this line of thought, I have come up with the next big thing. If 3D was revolutionary, then this should make BILLIONS!
1D MOVIES
And all it takes is a pair of these:
 |
| Basically spray paint 3D glasses and stab holes in them |
Hit the jump for more on this revolutionary new format!
